lotion stinks. i do not know why people ever want to spread the remains of floating sea fungi, carcasses of rotten citri and multitudinous combinations of toxic petrochemicals on their skin. and they actually enjoy it too.

now if only some bloke never thought to incorporate noxious odors into the bloody things, this would be a better world. but no! they had to infuse it with a scent that wafts through the confines of the office, bashes up your nostrils like a hammer wrapped in old leather tights and does a jiggle dance on your olfactory nerves until they are shot. crappy bastards.

water is good.